Thursday, December 03, 2009

What is Consciousness?

Dear Friends,

How many sales people, when speaking to a client or to anyone for that fact, talk all about themselves?

Webster says consciousness is awareness, sensitivity, and the ability to perceive the relationship between oneself and one's environment.

We use our conscious mind when we are thinking logically or carefully. Your referability resides inside your conscious referable behavior.

I was at a holiday party recently, while standing at the bar the gentleman next to me started up a conversation, just some idle chit chat. (I'll call him "John" to protect the innocent till proven guilty) 15 minutes into a conversation all about him, the host made an announcement that dinner would be served and to return to our seats. I said my goodbyes to “John” and told him it was a pleasure speaking with him.

I sat down, guess who sat besides me, yep it was “John”. We stated talking again, more about him.

He is a Realtor in NY, has his Associate Brokers License, 3 small children, 2 cats, and a puppy named Cookie... He finally asked me if I had any children. I told him I did not.

After about 30 more minutes of him talking about himself during dinner he asked me what type of business I was in.

Ok here was my chance.

I explained that I am speaker/sales trainer for real estates offices and associations mostly training on building referral based business. “Oh you’re a realtor?” he asked.

I explained to him who I am, what I do, and how I help people.

He continued to talk… asked me what I thought of coaching. I explained that I do personal coaching, and then he asked me for some advice on getting more referrals.

Over the past years, I have compiled a list of over 1,000 ways to improve your referability.
So I gave him 10 quick thoughts that came to mind that are referable behaviors.

These are the ones I shared with him:

  1. Tell the truth, no matter what
  2. Be on time
  3. Make no assumptions and always ask the question behind the question. Find out what is truly important to the other person.
  4. Check your thinking
  5. Acknowledge people frequently with notes.
  6. Quickly admit when you’re wrong.
  7. Say 'please' and 'thank you'.
  8. Give people permission to share how they feel about your service. Be hungry for feedback.
  9. Speak with confidence and passion, do your homework and never wing it. If you don’t know the answer, say so.
  10. Be more interested then interesting

I brought into his consciousness, that referable relationships have and equal amounts of give and take.

It was painful for him at first to recognize this; however, after a few minutes of playing the question game, “John” became aware of how unskilled he was at being interested.

He was unconscious to the fact that he wanted to be interesting more then he wanted to be interested.

How many sales people when speaking to a client or to some one at a party talk all about themselves?
They may talk about what those letters are after their names (ABR, ABRM, ALC, CCIM, CIPS, CPM, CRB, CRS®, CRE, GAA, PMN, RCE, XYZ, MNLOP, ect...).
They may tell them why they should list with them, why they are the best, how fast they sell houses, and how nice the home is, among many other things.
The sales person thinks that they are taking about the customer or having a conversation, but they are really just talking about themselves.

How many sales people are more interested the other person then they want to be interesting? Not many

That the difference between being a transactional based sales person and relationship based consultant.

So, look at the list of ten behaviors that I gave to “John”.

Which ones can you bring into conscious constructive behavior?

Rain falls as a result of a change in the temperature, so in a like manner, a change in your referability happens as a result of a change in your state of consciousness.

Today’s 3 Minute Referral Tip: You Must Develop A Referability Consciousness, and Please Be More Interested Then Interesting.

Thanks for spending 3 minutes with me...
The best is yet to be!

On Your Team
Jeffrey Stanton ITI, CLC, CNE, CSSN, WOW
Your Trusted Advisor For Life

One of the fastest ways to build a successful business is by training. Now, with me, I like to invest significant time immersing myself in training, while some people prefer to take it in bite-size chunks. Whatever your preference is, now is the best time to contact me.

If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends, family, colleagues and associates who you think will be interested. Feel free to print it (with credit and subscription information) and continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments, criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to

No comments:

Legal Stuff

CNE is a registered tradmark of Negotiation Expertise,LLC Your Professional Development and the information contained in/om , www, is the sole property of Jeffrey Stanton. the information contained is opinion only and should not me taken as legal or profesional advice. This website may not be duplicated whole or in part with out written permission.
This Site is not affilated with any othe web site and my contain links to outside web sites and is not responsible for other web sites content.

Certain statements contained on this blog may be deemed to be forward-looking statements within the meaning of the federal securities laws. The words “anticipate,” “believe,” “estimate,” “expect,” “project,” “plan,” “forecast,” “intend,” “goal,” “target,” and similar expressions identify forward-looking statements that are inherently subject to risks and uncertainties, many of which cannot be predicted or quantified. Actual results and the timing of certain events could differ materially from those projected in or contemplated by the forward-looking statements due to a number of factors, including, the effect of economic and market conditions including industry volumes and margins; the level and volatility of interst rates; the Company’s hedging strategies, hedge effectiveness and asset and liability management; the accuracy of subjective estimates used in determining the fair value of financial assets ; the credit risks with respect to our loans and other financial assets; the actions undertaken by both current and potential new competitors; the availability of funds from lenders and from loan sales and securitizations to fund mortgage loan originations and portfolio investmetns; the execution of growth plans and ability to gain market share in a significant market transition; the impact of disruptions triggered by natural disasters; the impact of current, pending or future legislation, regulations or litigation. The statements here are not offeres to extend credit as defined by Regulation Z. Rates, Programs, & Availability of Credit is subject to change

Jeffrey S Stanton
DRE ID # 01865119